I saw a sparky deck posted on this sub and figured "heh, what the hell, been so long since I played her." Join a classic challenge because I'm not going to tank my ladder ranking or waste 100 gems for a sparky deck.
Very first game I play in the challenge. I open by placing sparky at the back. Probably not what I should be doing, but if I'm going to play a sparky deck, I'm going to fucking play sparky! Sparky starts her slow progress in the right lane.
Opponent sees an opportunity and sends a hog on the left lane. No support. I counter it with goblin gang, which in turn gets killed by fire spirits.
Opponent goes on the offensive again, he sends a ram… in the right lane. It gets killed by sparky and a princess that I put in the left lane.
Ok, so far I traded a gang for a hog and fire spirit for +3 elixir, and although it cost me a lot of elixir to kill a ram, both my princess and sparky are at full health. Not bad.
Sparky is now slowly moving up the lane. Opponent sends a rocket. Shit, sparky's worst enemy (after zap, lightning, skarmy, minions, minion horde, skeletons, tombstone, a soft breeze….) It's coming, noooo!
Rocket misses sparky! God damn, I don't have a normal sparky, I have a freaking ninja Sparky!
Opponent drops skarmy, I zap it away while I send a hog in front of Sparky. I miss one of the skeletons, which is now aggroing onto hog. No Sparky! Don't waste a shot on a single skeleton! But Sparky don't listen, Sparky knows best. Sparky shoots skeleton and splashes the tower!
Opponent is now panicking. Sends a goblin barrel, but fails to surround Sparky. Sparky kills all three goblins before they even get a single stab in. Meanwhile the tower is frantically shooting at Sparky, but Sparky gives no shit. The princess on top of the tower is sweating bullets. Sparky charges. Sparky shoots. Sparky kills the tower.
Sparky starts charging again, moving slowly towards the king tower. Opponent finally gathered 4 elixir. Enough to play a unit. He drops musketeer in front of fully charged Sparky. Sparky laughs, shoots musketeer. Sparky adds another kill to her list. Sparky stopped counting how much positive elixir trade she made.
Unfortunately, Sparky received a lot of arrows from the crown tower earlier and now a few cannon balls from the king tower. She's almost dead. However, Sparky has a message to send. She uses all her remaining strength to charge one last time, and as the lethal cannon ball flies towards her, she shoots the king tower.
Sheds a tear.
Oh, did you forget about that princess that helped deal with the ram at the start? Don't feel bad, opponent also forgot about her. Now his left tower is down to 1k hp. Better deal with her quick! Opponent zaps princess…
Really opponent? You couldn't think of anything better to zap than a princess at the bridge? Nothing?
For those who need closure, yes, it ended in a three crown, but not with a sparky. No other sparky could ever live up to ninja Sparky. Rest in peace ninja Sparky, no other sparky will ever replace you.