My name is PK, and I’m addicted to Light Attack Spam

It all started during the Faction War. I can remember the first day I abused's like it was yesterday…

I was fighting this super fat Samurai. This big prick abused me like tossed salad. I asked him, I begged him, to at least let me stand up and fight like a woman. Not a chance. He put his grubby hands on me, tossing me in the air, and snapped my back over his knees. I couldn't feel anything but sadness, despair. I remember the message he sent me over PSN..god do I remember it. So vivid, so painful. He said to me, "git gud." Ah, it hurts to even remember. But I knew, from that day on, that I would never lose another duel again.

So I practiced for hours upon hours, dueling every Weeb and Nord I could find. I learned to parry and deflect. I learned how to land that triple stab in GB. But I knew, deep down, I would never be good enough to survive on the Battlefield. No matter how much I practiced. I needed something more, I needed an edge. That's when I found the Light Attack Spam, or LAS, as they call it on the streets. This guy told me it was everything I needed and more. That it would elevate me to the next level. That I would float through the Battlefield, slaying hoes with zero worries. So I tried it. Why not, right? Just once, to see if it worked. At least once is what I told myself, but after I crushed the first weeb in less than 10 seconds.. I knew I was hooked. I knew it. It became addicting. Victory after victory, it was all I knew anymore.

I became obsessed with LAS. I dreamed about it. It wasn't just apart of my life, it was my life. I started to hurt those around me with my addiction. I would get hateful letters on PSN from all those affected:

"Kill Yourself"; "PK is OP af. Git gud with sum1 else bitch"; "Go fuck yourself fag"

I didn't understand. I couldn't see it for myself. It blinded me. It wasn't until I met a Rep 6 Warden, that I finally understood the consequences of my addiction. Per usual, I was prepared with my LAS in hand to 3-0 this slut. But that didn't happen, nothing happened how it should've. As I fiddled my joystick throwing light attacks from Left, Right, and Up with complete negligence… I was blocked at every turn. I didn't understand.. this AWAYS works. Why not now, why. not. now. I was tired, I could hardly stand as my stamina morphed into fear… and the Warden just stared at me.. with this look of pity in his eyes… It took a sword through the skull to wake me up. It was then, with blood trickling down my beautiful face.. that I knew. LAS wasn't my friend, it was a crutch. I had to change.. for my family.. for honor.

That's why I'm here today, initiating this PK LAS addiction meeting. For my name is PK, and I am addicted to LAS.

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