How do Conquerors like their meat?

First, I like to tenderize my steaks by hand. I prefer the use of the Gustave Head, it doesn't poke holes in the steak like some of the other heads do.

Second, I add a lot of salt. That's where my Peace Keeper friend comes in. If they're out of town I know a Lawbringer that gets his fair share. I asked him where he got it from and he said something about bridges… didn't make any sense to me.

Third, neckbeard blood and weeb tears add a flavor that you just can't get anywhere else. I prefer to harvest mine on point A when I am laying down my Dominion at Overwatch, it's like taking candy from an Orochi that sees a powerup behind me.

Fourth, I heat my heater shield up until it's red hot- like sear the neck right off of your beard hot- you know how hot I am talking Warlords.

Fifth, I slap that baby on there like an Orochi on the dodge button- five times for every swing of the sword.

Sixth, I flip that sucker like I'm the Long Arm of the Grill. My lawbringer buddies are always emoting right behind me when i do that- makes the PK's blush.

Seventh, and last but not least, I take the hot juicy steak down to the pasture. It's where we keep our Shukogi prisoner because… Let's be honest- he's not ever going to fit down that stairwell into the dungeon, and if he ever broke free, do you really think he could hop that 2 foot tall stone fence around the place? So I take it down to him and I set it on the rock in front of where he sits, pouting like he always does when he misses the Demon's Embrace, and when he winds up for that charge, I step a foot to the left as I pull it away from him and then sit right out of his reach and eat it.

Then I have another one RAW RAW RAW.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *